Every year, on my birthday, I take time to reflect on my life and plan my birthday ritual. Some people ask me about a birthday ritual. For me, it is something so personal, that putting it on paper as a recipe that must be followed step by step, seems to me more superstition than inner work. Every year I live different things, I discover different personal shadows, I have different dreams and of course, every year my ritual is different. And contrary to what people believe, I don’t have a secret ritual book. Rather my head is an infinite producer of rituals and each ritual arises from an inspiration and that inspiration arises from the specific moment I am going through.

However today, I want to share the main structure of my birthday rituals. And when I say structure, it is rather the possible steps I take before and during my birthday. The most important thing is to take time. The time to reflect, to devise it, to create it in the mind and the time to execute it. After all, it is a new return to the Sun.

Days before: Thinking about the last year. Of course list the achievements and thank them, but go deeper into the current emotions. What situations generate positive emotions and what situations generate negative emotions for me.

Previous day: Say goodbye to the past through different actions of letting go, for example, organizing the closet and taking out clothes that are no longer used, organizing computer files, taking a bath or something more drastic like what I did 5 years and this year again. I cut my hair very short. It can be complemented with a bonfire that represents the farewell to the past and all the blockages and sabotage that I have generated and its transformation into light through fire. My hair has never been received as a donation, so this year it ended up in the fire too.

Birthday: For me, a precise time is the least of it. More important is the moment when I know that I will be totally in my ritual without interruptions and with no pending matters to do. Having no time limit is the most important thing. Not because it has to be a long and powerful ritual. No. No time limit because in the ritual I do everything I have learned in Magic and because it happens, that even having the step by step written on the paper, I allow myself to improvise since the ideas keep coming up.

Once the circle is created, I take a few minutes of meditation. Sometimes I do it with music, sometimes in silence, sometimes with meditations recorded with my own voice or with the voice of some teacher from the past. The important thing is that this meditation be according to the ritual and its intention.

Then I go completely silent and channel a message or lean on the oracles to receive it. For my birthday the question is always similar, because during the reflection of the previous days I have already realized my responsibility in each life situation and that leads me to have more clarity on the way forward. I simply ask for advice on that path that I have previously decided to follow, and based on this, I create commitments with myself and write my ABC. ABC is a NLP technique that is performed in the shower. I appreciate the past, I bless the future, I commit myself to the present.

Later I anoint my birthday candle with an oil and during the following days I observe how the candle is compiled, what forms it takes and what messages it gives me. Sometimes I tie a ribbon of a particular color around the candle and say a spell on the knots.

I close this part with a new meditation, I open the circle and I consume my offering as a way to accept and receive the blessings. Normally my offering is a little wine or a liqueur that I like and a piece of bread. It was very cold this year so it was with Glühwein (mulled wine) and some rice cakes with Nutella. For 3 years now, during the offering, I invite my husband to participate in it. It is for me the perfect closing, because I share with him my perceptions of the ritual, the messages received, my sensations and, likewise, his.

Days later: I celebrate my birthday with friends, but within that celebration I take time to share with them a small ritual with my birthday candle. This year was the first time I did it here in Germany. I invited 4 friends, and it was simple, short but special. Each one was able to anoint the candle, reflect on what they want to receive and draw a letter with a message. And then we continue to enjoy the celebration.

And that’s it. That is what I do on my birthday. I hope that it gives you a guide to make your own and that your heads also become ritual producers. However, I want to emphasize that in addition to time, another important point of the ritual (and of any act of a spiritual nature) is that it takes us to that state of neutrality where our judgments, fears and penalties are suspended and  take us to a state where we can be our goal. A ritual to ask something we need, will increase our lack. A ritual to take us to that state of Being is the one that serves as a vehicle for our transformation and thus that of our life.

That is why a birthday ritual is something personal.


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